Loss and reality

I learned today that my boss was leaving our company. I swore when I started my job five years ago that when she left, I left. At the time, it was simply because I was scared of what my work environment would be like without her there. Now I know regardless of her presence, my day will be filled with large amounts of bullshit and incompetence. When I decided to leave, it will simply be because it's my time.

But it's not the tedium of my 9-5 that causes me to write today. My biggest concern is the sense of loss I feel that comes with her departure. Which got me thinking, loss is amazingly complicated. In this instance, I am sad to see her leave and afraid for what will fill her void in the future.

This loss is minor in comparison to most. And yet all forms of loss feel strangely the same. Disoriented, a little empty, and longing for a content replacement come to mind. I know my loss requires change and perhaps this is the reason loss can be so devastating. It causes unwelcome change.